Cosmic Love
by lostfan08
Summary: A/U CC fic. All the Oceanic survivors get rescued sometime in Season 2. This is Charlie and Claire's story one year later...


**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! It's been awhile, trust me, I know. But I've matured a lot and so has my writing ability, so I figured I'd give fanfiction another shot. Plus, I really miss Lost! (and I have to let out another fangirl squee for the perfect C/C resolution!) So, here goes. First fic in a LONG time. Felt good to write this one out. The idea's been in my head for awhile, and I haven't seen very many C/C fics lately.

**About this fic: **All the Oceanic survivors were rescued sometime in November of 2004. How they were rescued is not relevant to this fic, but if you must have an explanation, I would be willing to give you one. The rescue would have taken place sometime in the middle or towards the end of Season 2. So no real spoilers after season 2, it's mostly AU. Basically, it's New Years Eve, Charlie and Claire are not on speaking terms. I have at least 2 chapters planned out. This first one will revolve around Charlie's side, the next one will be Claire's. (Trust me, it will make sense once I get the next chapter up and going!)

**Rating:** M for some strong language and a few sexual references.

**Characters:** Charlie, Claire, Liam (more to be added later on)

**About other fics: **I do realize I have a few other stories that people would like the ending for. If I get enough people interested in one of my older fics, I can finish it. (really, I just need one request, and I'll do it! So request away!) And trust me, I know how frustrating it is when a writer gives up on a story and you're left in the dark!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Lost. If I did, it would have turned into a total Charlie/Claire fluff fest.

Enjoy chapter one!

* * *

He woke up late that morning, 11:38 AM to be exact. Charlie jumped as his phone rang. It was Liam.

"Where the hell are you Charlie?" he asked, clearly frustrated, "We've been waiting since 10 o'clock and you haven't been answering your bloody phone." He was late for the new photo shoot for Driveshaft. They were releasing their 2nd single off their latest album, which came out a few months ago.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I'll be there in 10." he grumbled.

Liam had convinced him to get back in the music business shortly after the Oceanic survivors had come back. Funny, Charlie often thought to himself, how not too long ago, it was Charlie begging Liam to put the band back together. It's not that Charlie didn't want to continue making music, he just didn't want to go back to that lifestyle. Drugs and sex. Of course, he's already fallen back into the latter addiction...

11 hours later...

He's kissing this girl named Jessica. But he's not thinking about Jessica, he's thinking about _her._

"Oh god, Charlie." Jessica moans with pleasure.

He's here, in his bedroom right now, but he's not really _here._ In his mind, he's on the island sitting in the sand with the girl he once knew so well. In his mind, she was smiling and laughing. The one girl who he'd truly loved and cared about. In fact, the only girl he'd ever really loved or cared about. He never told her that he loved her. Maybe he should have. Maybe then things would be different. Maybe then he would be happy. Hell, he'd take being stuck on that fucking island over living in pure agony back in the real world. He wishes he had a time machine, so he could go back and fix what he'd screwed up. He wasn't happy. Was she?

Their last real conversation wasn't pleasant. It was when she'd kicked him out of her tent after discovering the truth about what was inside the Virgin Mary statues. He was so stupid. They had exchanged a polite smile as they parted ways in LA, but that was it. He hadn't seen her in almost a year.

Now it was New Years Eve. After a few drinks, he happened upon this 20-something brunette with dark eyes, Jessica. She was the complete opposite of everything that Claire was. Maybe that's why he was drawn to her. To forget. But who was he really kidding. You can't just forget about the woman you once were (still are) so madly in love with.

He had not said a word to 'Jessica' since he'd brought her home. Didn't even really care that he'd just screwed her. Now she was fast asleep next to him. He thought about waking her up, telling her to get out, but he didn't want to be alone tonight. Even if he was with some random girl. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling ashamed. It was always this way after he brought home a girl. He felt guilty, like he'd cheated on Claire. But they weren't together, never were and probably never would be. So why does he care so much?

Just then, came a knock at the door. He groaned and threw on his jeans and a t-shirt. He stubbed his toe on the couch as he made his way through the dark living room. "Dammit!" he whispered stumbling towards the door. Another knock came, a little more demanding this time. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" he yelled to the other side of the door. He ran his fingers through his hair, took a deep sigh and opened the door.

Of all the people he imagined showing up at his doorstep on New Years Eve, the one he least suspected showed up. John Lennon seemed more likely than the red eyed blond he saw staring back at him.

"Charlie."

He stared in silence for at least a minute before shaking his head. _Am I dreaming?_ he thought to himself. She waved her hand in front of his face, "hello, Charlie?"

"Claire..wh-what are you doing here? How'd you know where I live?" he asked holding on to the door for support. He figured he was pretty close to passing out at this point.

"I um...I was with Kate...I wanted to see you." she said stepping a little closer. He could smell the alcohol on her breath from just 3 feet away. He eyed her carefully, giving her a once over before looking back at her face. She looked tired, older almost. And maybe a little drunk.

"H-have you been drinking?" he said rubbing his eyes.

"Look, can I just come in?" she asked looking behind Charlie. He looked behind him and thought about the sleeping brunette down the hall. _Shit._ he mentally swore.

"Wasn't really an answer..." he responded. She didn't say anything or even react to what he'd just said. He got the point and opened the door so she could slip in.

"Happy new year." she mumbled as he cleared a spot on the couch for her.

"It's not midnight yet." he replied as he got a bottle of water out of the fridge for her. He handed her the water and sat down. All she did was look over at him, a peculiar grin on her face. "What?" he said with a blush.

"You haven't tried to call me. All this time." she said, her smiling fading.

"Well, to be fair, you haven't exactly tried to contact me either." he replied looking down at his hands. "Plus, we didn't leave off on the best note."

She nodded and picked at the label on the bottled water. He glanced back down the hall and then back at his fingernails.

"You have a girl here." she said. It wasn't a question, it was a fact.

"Wh-what?" he said finally looking her in the eyes "No, I don't."

She stared back and then rolled her eyes. "Don't lie to me, Charlie. I know there's a girl in your bed. There's a pair of high heels in the entry way. Your hair's all tousled. You won't stop looking back there, and...you smell like perfume."

Shit. She'd figured him out. She wasn't dumb. He should have given her some more credit. He sat in silence, kicking himself for being so stupid. Things might be going a little better if he hadn't brought that stupid girl home.

"Fine...there's a girl in there. And yes, I fucked her. And she's everything you're not. And maybe that's a good thing so I don't have to remember everything about you!" he spat, "Why are you even here? Are you just trying to torture me? After not talking to me for 14 months you figured now's a good time to start?"

"Charlie..." she started.

"No, you know what, Claire? I'm sick of this. I thought that I wanted this," he said motioning between the two of them, "and I thought you loved me...or..or at least had some type of feelings for me. But I guess I was wrong."

"Charlie, no you don't understand-" she said as he walked towards the doors. She quickly followed grabbing onto his arm.

"I understand perfectly." he spat. With that he quickly whipped the door open and motioned for her to get out. She slowly made her way out, but stopped just before he could close it.

"Charlie, you were right. I did love you. But _you_ "clearly" don't feel the same way. I thought I knew you, Charlie Pace. I came here tonight to tell you that I'm in love with you. But you showed me that you're just like the rest of the guys. A complete asshole. Screw you." she said and stormed off.

Now Charlie felt like the stupidest man on Earth. Here, this beautiful woman was in love with him, and he was in love with her. And he just screwed everything up.

* * *

**Okay, now you can feel free to tell me how horrible it was. I'm nervous. Please tell me if you liked it or hated it? I know it was sorta short. I cut a lot out of Charlie's day because it didn't feel right. And don't worry, I know it's angsty now, but it won't be for long. R/R! ~lostfan08**


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